Fags, Bois, and Daddy

I've been fantasizing a lot recently about fag sex. Does that make me a bad MTF? Does it make me a bad dyke? Last weekend I helped organize a play party for queers of all genders (http://montrealcontrelemur.wordpress.com/) and I found that I was most turned on by all the kinky cis faggots fucking.

I've been thinking about this attraction for a while and in explaining it to someone recently, I said that when I fantasize about/fuck femmes I feel like a dyke but when I fantasize about/fuck butches or bois, I feel like a fag. And then when I fuck boys (trans or cis) I feel as though I'm beyond gender. Isn't it funny how sexuality informs gender which informs sexuality which informs gender, ad infinitum?

Also, I did a scene where I played a Daddy. It was interesting embodying a male persona (ie: wearing a shirt/tie, getting called sir) for the first time since transitioning. I thought I would have had trouble getting into it but I feel that I am at a point now where I'm secure in my gender as an andro transdyke. In fact, I felt comfortable in the role of Daddy because it was a chosen maleness. As opposed to pre-transition fucking where it was simply assumed that I would embody maleness because of my assigned sex. It actually felt liberating to "play the male" for half an hour and, then post orgasm, remove the cock, put a bra back on, and return to a place of femaleness.

All this to say, I look forward to continuing this exploration of role/identities in sex.

Butchy Bisous,
Kate